In the name of god: that good feeling

Wat is it about the time we take out to remember god that makes us feel fresh, relaxed and contended afterwards.
not many would agree with me but you will if you observe it yourself. i see it myself every morning when my father comes downstairs to start the day after completing his prayers. no matter at what time he has gone to sleep, no matter how tired he is after getting up after his morning "sandhya" he is full of energy.
my mother and chachi and dadi perform "havan" daily. i used to perceive it as tiresome activity. getting up, taking path and going to the place built for the "havan" and speaking sanskrit hymns, a language they can read but don't understand. i saw it as completely pointless. but they too spend the day with great energy and positivity after the "havan".

i guess there were many reasons why i decided to join them for the "havan" a few days ago. Firstly, it guaranteed that i got up early, took bath and was ready. therefore, if some plans to go for a movie or lunch were made, i wasn't left behind. (it used to happen a lot of times, i was left behind coz i wasn't ready)
Secondly, it would make my mom, dad and everybody else in the family happy
Thirdly, i hav a lot of time to kill, spending it in the name of god seemed good.
and lastly, i wanted to experience the relaxation, the burst of energy, the positive vibes, the freshness the rest of my family seemed to experience after saying their prayers, or after performing "havan".

so on the first day i came all ready, showered and combed downstairs and announced my intentions. i was laughed at, more so as the "havan" was already over. i shrugged it off and made it clear that i really was going to come on time frm the next day. i have attended aily since that day and i too began feeling energetic the whole day, was it possible that sitting in front of the fire for half an hour, speaking a great language one couldn't understand and adding ghee and many other things into the fire reinvigorate you and energize you for the whole day, wasn't sitting in front of the fire in summers a self inflicted pain, doesn't sweating lead to discomfort and loss of energy, then how is it that i was feeling relaxed and comforted after performing the yajya.

i decided to observe the chain of thoughts that went through my mind while performing the "havan" to understand better how the ritual was affecting my thinking and thus me. the first day the only thought that ran through my mind was the thought that i had to observe my line of thoughts. observing my thoughts was making me think about observing my thoughts, it was as if the free thoughts were getting concious about the fact that they were being watched. i had to observe subconciously so that i knew yet i didi not know that my thoughts were under observation. this was surprisingly quite easy. my mind was doing three thing at a time, it was speaking the mantras from the book in front of me, it was allowing the thoughts to flow and it was observing these thoughts as well.

then i suddenly found the answer to all my dilemmas. i found myself thinking about all the things that i wished i paid more attention to, that were important to me, my life. i was thinking about all the important things i did not have time for, despite all the free time i am having nowadays. during the "havan" i lost myself, as if going into a trance moments where i stopped speaking the mantras, just a blank expression on my face, till awakened by my mom complaining that i wasn't speaking the mantras. i realized the source of my comfort in the fire's discomfort, the coolness despite the heat, the burst of energy depite the pool of sweat. the "havan" gave me moments to think about all the things i always wanted to think about but somehow never di. in that way the ritual was freeing me from the belief that i did not have time for myself. the havan thus left me feeling positive, relaxed and energetic even if the body had gone numb and drained of some energy. it was something similar to what we feel after exercising, physically drained yet that feeling of contentment and relaxation.

of course the reason why my mom or dad felt relaxed, after the time they devoted to god, can be very different from mine. in fact i think the reasons can not be te same. for mom, it is the feeling of contentment that the prayers she is saying will bring luck, happiness and love into the family, and its members. for dad it is the hapiness of carrying on the tradition his father had given him. Maybe later on, the reason why i enjoy that half an hour in the morning devoted god could develop into more selfless reasons like my mom or dad have. or are their reasons more selfish??